Been a long time

So it has been a long time since I posted a blog. Shame on me :(. Well, I guess now is the best time huh? As I'm sure most of you know I was diagnosed with brain cancer last week. Pretty crappy, but I'm not letting it get me down. Here's the story for those of you who don't know. Back in the middle of August I started having some left shoulder pain and numbness in my left hand. I went to the doctor and he looked at me And told me I had a 2nd degree muscle tear in my shoulder most likely caused by picking up one of the boys incorrectly. He prescribed me some muscle relaxers and some pain meds and told me I'd be as good as new in 2 weeks, but if I wasn't to come back in and see him and he would do some x-rays and such. Well, 2 weeks went by and I wasn't better, actually the pain was the same and the numbness had spread from just a few fingers to my entire left hand being numb. I just sucked it up and continued about life because I didn't have time to go to the doctor and I certainly didn't have time for surgery which is what I was sure the doctor would tell me that would be the fix. Jump to the weekend of September 23rd-25th. I woke up on Saturday feeling fine minus the shoulder pain and numbness. I went out shopping with some friends and had a good day. By dinner though I had a headache. Nothing terrible, just enough to be annoying. I woke up on Sunday and I still had a headache. As the day went on it got worse and even after taking ibuprofen it wouldn't go away. I was starting to think I may have a sinus infection because the headache was focused right behind my eye and in my sinuses. I went to bed early Sunday night only to wake up at 4 am in horrible pain. I got up and took 1200mg(way more then you are supposed to take fyi) of ibuprofen to tey and kill the pain. It dulled the pain but never got rid of it all the way. I spent most of the day on the couch and only got up to help the boys with little things. Luckily I have good kids who behaved themselves and didn't get in too much trouble while I laid on the couch. By dinner Adam was convinced something was seriously wrong and told me that we needed to go to the e.r. I assured him it was just a sinus migraine and I'd be fine. I even took some zyrtec in hopes that would relieve some pressure until I was able to get into the doc the next day. No luck there. On Tuesday morning the pain was bad enough that I was in tears and I actually told Adam I would rather be in labor then take the head pain. He tried to take me to the e.r. at 5am before he went into work but I told him we had no where to send the boys so we couldn't go. At 8 he called me to make sure I called the doctor to get in for a same day appointment. Well, I called and of course they couldn't fit me in. So now my choices were to suffer the rest of the day and hope they could get me in on Wednesday or go to the e.r. I debated until 9:30 when I finally decided that I couldn't take the pain anymore and that 3 1/2 days with a headache that wouldn't quit wasn't good. Not to mention the weakness I was feeling on my left side had started to get worse (I burnt myself on Sunday and didn't even know until Adam pointed out the blister on my finger). So I called Adam at work to have him sent home and called a friend to watch the boys. We got to the e.r. about 11 and were in a room by 11:30. Fastest I have ever been seen in the e.r. which I didn't take as a god thing. The e.r. doctor said I probably just had a migraine but something told him to do some neurological testing to be safe. Well, when he tried to get me to touch my left index finger to my nose and then his finger I couldn't do it. He made me try 3 times and I failed every single time. That prompted him to immediately order a ct scan even though he assured us that it would most likely come back normal. So they wheel me down and do the ct and tell us it will be 30 minutes before the results come back. While we wait the lab comes in and draws blood which I think is odd but whatever. Then a nurse comes in and says she needs to start an i.v. EXCUSE ME!?! I know they don't start iv's unless they are planning on admitting you or you are dehydrated and I know I'm not the latter. Then as she goes to get what she needs for the iv the doctor comes back and sits next to Adam with a concerned look on his face. He says, "Well, it isn't nothing like I thought. There is a decent size mass on your brain that you need to have looked at by a neurosurgeon and we don't have one in Alamogordo. We are going to transfer you to a hospital in El Paso. Oh and we are flying you there asap." Pretty sure Adam and I both shit our pants on the spot. They don't just put you on a helicopter to fly you to a different state for nothing ya know. Once I got to the e.r El Paso, a doctor came in and examined me(pretty sure he wanted to eat my eyeball he got so damn close to it) then informed me that not only were they admitting me they were admitting me to the step down icu/telemetry unit.. When we we asked why we were told because they needed to keep a close eye on my because of the mass on my brain. Yea, officially scared at this point. So we get admitted and they get me some pain meds and some steroids for the brain swelling and I'm finally able to get some sleep. Well as much as you can when they come and take you vitals every 2 hrs and do an ekg at 2 am. Then on Wednesday morning the neurosurgeon came in and talked to ua and did some more neuro tests which I failed miserably on my left side. He ordered a MRI and said he would be back to see us tomorrow but one thing he knew for sure was that I was to have brain surgery first thing Friday morning to remove the tumor. I was in shock. I just had a torn shoulder and a headache, I didn't need brain surgery to remove a tumor, he must have me confused with someone else. Nope, he didn't unfortunately. I went and had the MRI then pretty much sat around and waited. The surgeon came back on Thursday morning to tell us that I had what was called a glioma which was a cyst surrounded by tumor cells and he wouldn't know more until he opened my head and saw it for himself. Friday morning came and they came and got me at 6 am to do 1 final mri before the surgery and then I sat in the o.r waiting area for about 45 minutes. They wheeled me into the o.r around 8:30 and I'm told they rolled me out around 10:45 or so. I spent all day friday in the ICU which was horrible because I wasn't allowed out of bed at all. On saturday morning the surgeon came in and said that pending what the morning mri said (mri #3 in as many days) he was going to allow me to have real food and he was moving me to the post surgical floor. After the longest hr of my life in the mri machine. (In case anyone was curious, having a mri done on your head less then 24 hrs post brain surgery sucks really bad). I was moved to a new room around dinner on Saturday which I was super happy about because that meant I could finally get out of bed! Surgeon came and saw me on Sunday to check my head, told me that as soon as pt said it was okay, I was allowed to walk the halls and take a shower as long as I promised not to scrub my head. Still no pathology reports back, but he assumed they would come in first thing Monday morning. Monday around lunch he came back and said that it was an Ependymoma which is a form of brain cancer. The good news is that it is the kind that generally stays in the brain and doesn't spread. Bad news? It is cancer and it is one of the rarest forms of brain cancer. He said in his 20 yrs of practice he has only seen 1 other case. Pretty much there is a 1 in 2 million chance of someone getting it and it usually found in someone under 5 yrs old. I joked that maybe I should start playing the lotto since I have luck to get something so rare. I can't help but ask, "why me?" I have never done drugs, I don't drink, I don't smoke and I eat healthy I am only 23. The conclusion I have come to about why me? Because God knows that I can handle this and that I will come out on top and use this experience to help others. Like I tell all my family, I may have brain cancer, but I'm not going anywhere. I have 2 beautiful boys who need their momma and a loving husband who needs his wife. I'm gonna kick this Cancer's ass and then work hard to raise awareness about it and make sure that no one takes numbness or migraines lightly. Right now we are waiting to se the oncologist which will hopefully happen tomorrow or tuesday. I have some weakness on my left side still and my left hand only works about 50% of the time, but I can live with that. I feel pretty awesome considering they cut y head open a week ago I just get tired really easily and I now apparently have acid reflux which I never had before. I will make sure to post once we talk to the oncologist and let everyone know what he says.