Tomorrow's gonna be a big one

So tomorrow is going to be a big day. Tomorrow morning we are having a family photo shoot with the amazing Ashley Marie Photography (ashleymarie.biz). I have some amazing ladies who I met while I was pregnant with Aidyn(I have mentioned them before), well a few of them got together and emailed Ashley about doing a photo shoot for me since I really want some photos of the 4 of us and some of the boys now that Austin is more mobile and able to sit on his own. Ashley not only offered to do our photos for free, but she made sure that we would be able to have them taken before I started any radiation so we wouldn't have to worry about me being too sick or losing my hair before I got the photos I wanted. I am overwhelmed by her kindness. Not many people would be willing to do this. So, if you live in the Alamogordo area, look her up! Then we have an appointment at 2 pm tomorrow with the cancer center in Alamogordo. Even though Tricare is giving us a hard time and trying to deny the referral for me to see them, the nurse Adam talked to today said we are to still come. I am already impressed with them. Most doctor's offices would tell you that until you get your insurance worked out they won't see you, thank goodness that isn't the case here. I'm pretty sure tomorrow will just be a consultation where they will tell us what to expect and where we will meet our "team". We will also be finding out the official pathology reports. That is the part that scares me. Part of me doesn't want to know what they are going to say and part of me is hoping we will go in and they will tell us their original thoughts were wrong and that it was actually a benign tumor. Whatever they tell us tomorrow, we will get through it. I am going to do whatever I have to do to beat this and I know I will. I will post again tomorrow after our appointment to let everyone know what they tell us. Thank you all so much for the thoughts and prayers. They mean so much to my family and I and I know God is listening.

Been a long time

So it has been a long time since I posted a blog. Shame on me :(. Well, I guess now is the best time huh? As I'm sure most of you know I was diagnosed with brain cancer last week. Pretty crappy, but I'm not letting it get me down. Here's the story for those of you who don't know. Back in the middle of August I started having some left shoulder pain and numbness in my left hand. I went to the doctor and he looked at me And told me I had a 2nd degree muscle tear in my shoulder most likely caused by picking up one of the boys incorrectly. He prescribed me some muscle relaxers and some pain meds and told me I'd be as good as new in 2 weeks, but if I wasn't to come back in and see him and he would do some x-rays and such. Well, 2 weeks went by and I wasn't better, actually the pain was the same and the numbness had spread from just a few fingers to my entire left hand being numb. I just sucked it up and continued about life because I didn't have time to go to the doctor and I certainly didn't have time for surgery which is what I was sure the doctor would tell me that would be the fix. Jump to the weekend of September 23rd-25th. I woke up on Saturday feeling fine minus the shoulder pain and numbness. I went out shopping with some friends and had a good day. By dinner though I had a headache. Nothing terrible, just enough to be annoying. I woke up on Sunday and I still had a headache. As the day went on it got worse and even after taking ibuprofen it wouldn't go away. I was starting to think I may have a sinus infection because the headache was focused right behind my eye and in my sinuses. I went to bed early Sunday night only to wake up at 4 am in horrible pain. I got up and took 1200mg(way more then you are supposed to take fyi) of ibuprofen to tey and kill the pain. It dulled the pain but never got rid of it all the way. I spent most of the day on the couch and only got up to help the boys with little things. Luckily I have good kids who behaved themselves and didn't get in too much trouble while I laid on the couch. By dinner Adam was convinced something was seriously wrong and told me that we needed to go to the e.r. I assured him it was just a sinus migraine and I'd be fine. I even took some zyrtec in hopes that would relieve some pressure until I was able to get into the doc the next day. No luck there. On Tuesday morning the pain was bad enough that I was in tears and I actually told Adam I would rather be in labor then take the head pain. He tried to take me to the e.r. at 5am before he went into work but I told him we had no where to send the boys so we couldn't go. At 8 he called me to make sure I called the doctor to get in for a same day appointment. Well, I called and of course they couldn't fit me in. So now my choices were to suffer the rest of the day and hope they could get me in on Wednesday or go to the e.r. I debated until 9:30 when I finally decided that I couldn't take the pain anymore and that 3 1/2 days with a headache that wouldn't quit wasn't good. Not to mention the weakness I was feeling on my left side had started to get worse (I burnt myself on Sunday and didn't even know until Adam pointed out the blister on my finger). So I called Adam at work to have him sent home and called a friend to watch the boys. We got to the e.r. about 11 and were in a room by 11:30. Fastest I have ever been seen in the e.r. which I didn't take as a god thing. The e.r. doctor said I probably just had a migraine but something told him to do some neurological testing to be safe. Well, when he tried to get me to touch my left index finger to my nose and then his finger I couldn't do it. He made me try 3 times and I failed every single time. That prompted him to immediately order a ct scan even though he assured us that it would most likely come back normal. So they wheel me down and do the ct and tell us it will be 30 minutes before the results come back. While we wait the lab comes in and draws blood which I think is odd but whatever. Then a nurse comes in and says she needs to start an i.v. EXCUSE ME!?! I know they don't start iv's unless they are planning on admitting you or you are dehydrated and I know I'm not the latter. Then as she goes to get what she needs for the iv the doctor comes back and sits next to Adam with a concerned look on his face. He says, "Well, it isn't nothing like I thought. There is a decent size mass on your brain that you need to have looked at by a neurosurgeon and we don't have one in Alamogordo. We are going to transfer you to a hospital in El Paso. Oh and we are flying you there asap." Pretty sure Adam and I both shit our pants on the spot. They don't just put you on a helicopter to fly you to a different state for nothing ya know. Once I got to the e.r El Paso, a doctor came in and examined me(pretty sure he wanted to eat my eyeball he got so damn close to it) then informed me that not only were they admitting me they were admitting me to the step down icu/telemetry unit.. When we we asked why we were told because they needed to keep a close eye on my because of the mass on my brain. Yea, officially scared at this point. So we get admitted and they get me some pain meds and some steroids for the brain swelling and I'm finally able to get some sleep. Well as much as you can when they come and take you vitals every 2 hrs and do an ekg at 2 am. Then on Wednesday morning the neurosurgeon came in and talked to ua and did some more neuro tests which I failed miserably on my left side. He ordered a MRI and said he would be back to see us tomorrow but one thing he knew for sure was that I was to have brain surgery first thing Friday morning to remove the tumor. I was in shock. I just had a torn shoulder and a headache, I didn't need brain surgery to remove a tumor, he must have me confused with someone else. Nope, he didn't unfortunately. I went and had the MRI then pretty much sat around and waited. The surgeon came back on Thursday morning to tell us that I had what was called a glioma which was a cyst surrounded by tumor cells and he wouldn't know more until he opened my head and saw it for himself. Friday morning came and they came and got me at 6 am to do 1 final mri before the surgery and then I sat in the o.r waiting area for about 45 minutes. They wheeled me into the o.r around 8:30 and I'm told they rolled me out around 10:45 or so. I spent all day friday in the ICU which was horrible because I wasn't allowed out of bed at all. On saturday morning the surgeon came in and said that pending what the morning mri said (mri #3 in as many days) he was going to allow me to have real food and he was moving me to the post surgical floor. After the longest hr of my life in the mri machine. (In case anyone was curious, having a mri done on your head less then 24 hrs post brain surgery sucks really bad). I was moved to a new room around dinner on Saturday which I was super happy about because that meant I could finally get out of bed! Surgeon came and saw me on Sunday to check my head, told me that as soon as pt said it was okay, I was allowed to walk the halls and take a shower as long as I promised not to scrub my head. Still no pathology reports back, but he assumed they would come in first thing Monday morning. Monday around lunch he came back and said that it was an Ependymoma which is a form of brain cancer. The good news is that it is the kind that generally stays in the brain and doesn't spread. Bad news? It is cancer and it is one of the rarest forms of brain cancer. He said in his 20 yrs of practice he has only seen 1 other case. Pretty much there is a 1 in 2 million chance of someone getting it and it usually found in someone under 5 yrs old. I joked that maybe I should start playing the lotto since I have luck to get something so rare. I can't help but ask, "why me?" I have never done drugs, I don't drink, I don't smoke and I eat healthy I am only 23. The conclusion I have come to about why me? Because God knows that I can handle this and that I will come out on top and use this experience to help others. Like I tell all my family, I may have brain cancer, but I'm not going anywhere. I have 2 beautiful boys who need their momma and a loving husband who needs his wife. I'm gonna kick this Cancer's ass and then work hard to raise awareness about it and make sure that no one takes numbness or migraines lightly. Right now we are waiting to se the oncologist which will hopefully happen tomorrow or tuesday. I have some weakness on my left side still and my left hand only works about 50% of the time, but I can live with that. I feel pretty awesome considering they cut y head open a week ago I just get tired really easily and I now apparently have acid reflux which I never had before. I will make sure to post once we talk to the oncologist and let everyone know what he says.

Busy Week!

This next week is going to be a busy one! Easter is tomorrow, my parents come in on Monday night, Aidyn's birthday is on Thursday and his party on Saturday. Not to mention Adam is working 12 hour shifts all week. I'm exhausted just thinking about it all! The Easter festivities started today when I took the boys to an Easter egg hunt here on base. Yea, HUGE mistake! Aidyn was a grouch the entire time. He was mad he had to wait to get the eggs, then he was mad because he couldn't stay sitting with the Easter bunny, then he was mad I couldn't hold him because I had Austin in the Moby. Then he was mad because he couldn't reach Hunter's hand so he could hold it. Then it was a fit over the fact that the chocolate was melted. By the time we got home I was ready to pull all of my hair out! I can honestly say that we have officially hit the terrible twos! Today during nap time I have to work on putting together the boys Easter baskets, boil eggs so we can dye them when Adam gets home, put together treat bags for Aidyn's party, fold and put away laundry and I am hoping to go through our clothes so I can get things together to have a yard sale in a few weeks. Not to mention tomorrow I have to do a deep clean on my house so I will only have to do small cleaning on Friday. I'm exhausted just thinking about all I have to do in the next week!

We are taking Aidyn to the bouncy place in town on his birthday so he can have some fun and release some energy. I'm sad that Adam has to work and will miss it but such is life in the military :(. I just got a new memory card for my camera so there will be a lot of pictures for him to see(and for everyone else to see of course!)

It isn't "official" yet because we still have to wait for it to get approved but, we are planning on coming home for 2 weeks in June! I'm so excited! Aidyn will get to have a sleepover with his cousins for the entire time since we are staying with Joe and Sam and they are totally awesome and Aidyn has his own bed in Gavin and Brodie's room :). So as long as everything gets approved we will be leaving New Mexico in the early morning hours of June 3rd and returning sometime on the 19th. I'm excited to get to see all of our family and I am planning a little get together with my fellow WTE mommas!! For those of you that don't know, I have been part of an amazing group of women since I was pregnant with Aidyn. We all have kiddos who are 2 or turning 2 in the next few weeks. Even though I have never "met" any of these ladies I feel like they are my sisters. We share so much with each other, from the struggles of being the parents of toddlers, to our toddlers getting siblings and any funky and embarrassing things we may have questions about! There are 4 mommas that live in Colorado and I am so excited to finally meet them and their kiddos in person!! If any of our friends and family want to see us while we are home make sure and let Adam or I know so we can plan a time to get together!!

I'll leave you with an adorable picture of my loves :)

First Post!

So I decided that I would start a blog so all of our family back home could keep up with our lives. I have never done a blog so bare with me until I get the hang of it! :)

So, Adam is working a crazy shift this week(what's new?). He has to be at work at 4:15 am which means he is ready for bed by 8 which wouldn't be so bad but, I can not fall asleep that early no matter how hard I try! The good thing is he is home by 1. But, the end of this week also marks the beginning of him working 12 hour shifts for the next week. The base has a big inspection so I won't be seeing much of him once that starts. Oh joy! Luckily next week we are having a lot of family come in for the little man's 2nd birthday! I can't believe it has been 2 years since we welcomed into our lives. Where is the pause button? I'm not ready for my baby to grow up!

He has changed so much in the last few months too. His vocabulary has exploded, very rarely does he say something that we don't understand now. Also, we have been working on potty training. We decided to take it at his pace to reduce the stress on all of us. He has been doing awesome! At first it seemed like a lost cause but the last few days have been awesome and he has only had a few accidents. Now, if we could just get him to understand that poop goes in the potty too!

Austin is good. He loves Aidyn and almost always stops crying if Aidyn starts talking to him. He is my little drama king though. He will fuss just so someone will look at him, even when nothing is wrong. He got shots today and he was a grump the rest of the day :(. Hopefully he feels better in the morning. I started him on solids this week since he was wanting to eat 6 oz every 3 hrs which apparently a lot for a 4 month old. He has loved his solids! He will eat an entire jar in minutes and scream until I give him the bottle. He is my little garbage disposal. Shockingly he isn't nearly as chubby as Aidyn always was, he is just long!

Lastly, I will tell you what I have been up to. I have been working hard at getting things together for little man's birthday party in between play dates and cleaning the house. I swear whoever said staying home full time was easy never lived with 3 boys and a dog! I'm sure living in the desert doesn't help since I have to dust every day thanks to the lovely dust storms we have on an almost daily basis. Mom, you wouldn't survive here since you hate dusting :). Well, that's all I got for today! I'll try to keep up with this as much as I can I promise.